I LIKE...no I don't.

Jeans.

It’s not new for a woman to talk about jeans. Or how she hates wearing jeans… but here I go.

I wear jeans all of the time. I’m not sure why because I really don’t like the way they feel. As my middle age body settles in, jeans are becoming…well…just mean. Jeans are mean. (oh, a rhyme!)

And when skinny jeans came on the scene (ha, that rhyme wasn’t on purpose, I swear!) I was reluctant to get on board but there was no getting around it. There was also no easy way of getting into them either—but we all did it—and for several years! Go us…I guess.

But let’s talk about the jean trend today and going into 2021 because there is a new problem.

Looseness. Now, comfort is back, which sounds exciting…but then there is the dreaded mom jean problem, which to a Millennial or GenZer is super cool. (smh) It is to be noted that I like to be on trend despite my 45 year old-ness (gotta keep it fresh). So, how do I pull these off, (good news btw: they are easy to get off) …but I mean figuratively speaking? (is anyone catching these? I am killing it over here.) Yes, they seem to be more comfortable but they aren’t really flattering…more like fattening.

I just don't know how to make the leap from skinny jeans to these. I’m stuck choosing something I dislike less than the other thing I dislike more. It’s like our presidential election every four years (except this year—I like Biden). And look at them…they look so happy in jeans.

And, I should say even besides presidential candidates, jeans aren’t all that bad. Check out this amazing British artist Ian Berry. He uses layers and layers of denim to make these amazing portraits and pictorials…this is not paint. It’s actual cut up pieces of jeans!

He also has done this crazy beautiful installation called the Secret Garden which is what really grabbed my attention:

So, back to mom jeans. I did some hunting in the interwebs. I was seeing a lot of celebrities wearing them …most of them were young…and apparently these jeans come with a pre-requisite that you must show your belly button as you wear them. Well, I am a thin person, but my belly button is a horizontal line. See helpful diagram below:

And so that won’t work for me. But kudos to Hailey because she does look good…

I decided to look up someone more my age…who tends to be on-trend (still rhyming). And I was like, ok I guess they are just supposed to make you look like you have hobbit legs, like that’s the “It Factor.”…Maybe?

I felt better after seeing that! I mean, if Ms. Lopez is out there rocking them (but not really) at 51, well...than I can too, at least a little bit. So I did it. I bought a pair…and I have to tell you they feel really good. Do they look good however? Meh... Here are some pics of me wearing a pair of Agolde (a brilliant jeans company based in LA) with my spatula belly button nice and covered. These are: Lana Mid Rise Straight Leg. I wear them around the house, but have yet to share them in any public capacity. Well, I guess now I did, ha.

So there you have it. I’m a mom in mom jeans and happy to be here. How ironic. Move over Millenials…or at least just make some room for me and my big pants.

XXX,

Me